I drove past our house today, little green trees sat outside the garage and a giant decorated tree shone through the window. Two black figures moved inside, ghosts.I look back at the last 5 months. 5 months’ worth of devastation, houses crumbling, lives shattering, everything is different, and although it feels like I could look behind me and literally see the storm head moving slowly away from me, I don’t dare. I’m shaken and disoriented, to the world I look lost and broken, but inside I am growing stronger than I’ve ever been. I miss him and our precious life, my past, our dog, having a sense of belonging and home, love, and being loved. I have to begin to trust that there is something or someone out there for me, something that makes this worthwhile. But with this attitude nothing ever will be.